One of my all time favorite bands is Shane and Shane. I love their music, their lyrics and their passion. Have you ever had a moment when you’re just driving along innocently listening to an old CD and suddenly, without warning, the lyrics hit you like a ton of bricks? Lyrics that you’ve sung along with before, but suddenly it’s as if you’d never heard them. It’s like God just decided to wake you from a dream and these words have so much meaning that it’s the most real thing you’ve ever heard.

This has happened to me several times with Shane and Shane. Probably the most dramatic one was with their song “Everything Is Different” – several years ago. More recently with their songs “Though You Slay Me” and “Faith To Believe“. I’m bound to blog about those two in coming weeks, but right now the one that is my daily theme song is “Without You“. (all three of those last ones are off the album “Bring Your Nothing” — what an incredible album title and concept!!)

The song opens with an expression of faith “I can walk through the storm; I can walk by faith when my sight is gone, just as long as You are here with me.” And follows with an exclamation of complete dependence on God: “I could gain everything; What do I have if I don’t have the King. Oh I need to know You’re here with me.” YES! Lord, I have faith, and I know how much I need You – that without You I am totally lost and my life is worthless. But Lord… I need to KNOW You’re here WITH ME…right now. I need to sense Your presence…

Sometimes, despite my faith and despite the knowledge I hold in my head I can still feel like I’m wandering in the dark. Not that I think God is distant. Not that I’m slipping away from Him. I’m still doing what I can to fix my eyes on Jesus…it’s just that my eyesight is fading, or like a cloud has gotten in the way and obscured my vision. I know He’s there, but I’ve momentarily lost visual contact. And when you know how desperately you need Him, that can be a little scary.

Or like an astronaut who’s “on the dark side of the moon” and has momentarily lost radio contact with Houston. “Here I am…calling out…can you hear me? Can you hear me?” “Hear I am, can you talk a little louder? So I can hear you? I want to hear you.”

The third verse drives it home: “Even though I believe You’ve taken up a home inside me and You’ll never leave, I still need to know You’re here with me.” Or as the father of the demon-possessed child exclaims (with passion) in Mark 9:24 “I DO believe!…help my unbelief…”
I LOVE that oxymoron. It is so definitive of the human condition. I DO believe that you are Emmanuel, “God With Us.” I KNOW it in my head, and I believe it in my heart. But…still…I need to KNOW that You are here with me.” Help my unbelief. I need to FEEL Your presence. I need to feel your hand upon my shoulder, the warmth of Your embrace. Your face against my face. I want THAT kind of “knowing”.

All of that and we haven’t even gotten to the bridge, which is the heart of the song:
“If Your presence goes, I don’t wanna stay. If Your presence stays, I don’t wanna go. I need You”
The cry of Moses’ heart while leading the Israelites through 40 years of dessert wandering. (Exodus 33:15). To go through life without the presence of God is absolutely fruitless and pointless. Especially once you’ve known the presence of God, how could you possibly live without it. This is MY prayer:

Lord, don’t ever let me walk without your presence. Don’t let me make decisions that have me heading in a direction away from You. Father, help me to always consult You, even in the little things. Remind me to wait for you (not like Saul in 1 Samuel 13). I know that You desire obedience more than sacrifice, and that true Christianity, true riches, true LIFE is found not in achieving goals and accomplishing tasks and reaching the destination, but in walking step by step, hand in hand with God. It’s all about the Journey, not the destination. Lord, be with me in the Journey.

Without You

I can walk through the storm
I can walk by faith when my sight is gone
Just as long as You are here with me

I could gain everything
What do I have if I don’t have the King
Oh I need to know You’re here with me

Here I am calling out Father
Can You hear me? Can You hear me?
I don’t wanna go without You
Here I am can You talk a little louder
So I can hear You, I wanna hear You
I don’t wanna move without You

Even though I believe
You’ve taken up a home inside of me and You’ll never leave
I still need to know You’re here with me

If Your presence goes, I don’t wanna stay
If Your presence stays, I don’t wanna go
I need You

Here I am calling out Father
Can You hear me? Can You hear me?
I don’t wanna go without You
Here I am can You talk a little louder
So I can hear You, I wanna hear You
I don’t wanna move without You

Words by Shane Barnard

Behind the Song:

“One night I was skimming through Exodus and came across Moses’ cry to God, “If your presence does not go with me, do not bring us up from here.” And I began to join him…if Your presence goes, I don’t want to stay. If Your presence stays, I don’t want to go. It is like when Jesus was telling his “disciples” the words of eternal life in John chapter 6, and many of them “turned back and no longer walked with Him.” Jesus turned to the twelve and said, “Do you want to go as well?” And they answered, “to whom shall we go.” This should be our hearts cry! To whom shall we go! All we have is Him. Without His presence we are lost.” – Shane Barnard